Monday, May 2, 2011


I am super annoyed right now. 

Okay. Backtracking. We set up a consultation with a professional organizer. This evening. She had a lot of energy, seemed really positive about the stuff, really together, like she enjoyed doing this sort of thing. We went around the house (this was actually quite draining to me to look at ALL the rooms, ALL the stuff - I saw some things in dark corners and cupboards that I hadn't seen in years, decades perhaps). I felt really glad about the idea of having her on board with us. I have to confess, holding my mom's hand as she makes a decision about every single piece of paper or plastic beaded bracelet or broken appliance is EXHAUSTING. The idea of going through all of those rooms just made me feel so hopeless.

Anyway though, we sat down with the organizer the little house tour, she talked about what she was envisioning: a team of 3 people who would come in and take on the different rooms. She said there would be a discount for having three people at a time (instead of three times the hourly rate of one person). Great! I thought. It sounded really good to me. Three, non-me people taking this on, all I have to do was pay and be somewhat helpful. 

After the professional organizer left, I asked my mom what she thought about it all. She started to cry and said "looks like we're just going to have to get some dumpsters and throw it all away!" 


Excuse me?

She didn't think my dad would see it as a good investment. Bubs and I called our dad over (he was watching TV in the other room) and asked him about the potential selling price differential between trying to sell the house its current state versus cleaning it up and getting it to look quite spiffy. It was significant. More than the cost of the organizers. I pointed this out, but he didn't really see the value of it.  My sister said that it seemed like the best option for them. He didn't agree with her. 

"We get some dumpsters, throw it all away, Mom moves on." Neither my sister nor I said anything for a moment, because we weren't quite sure about the moving on. We probably should give her some credit. But she has a hard time of moving on, of letting go of anything, which is sort of why we are in this problem. 

Bubs says that she means the best - not the cheapest - option. 

"Essentially we're paying somebody to throw away our stuff," he said. Then I said "well you guys seem to be having trouble doing it yourself."  They both protested, saying it wasn't "us," it was my mom. "I could throw it all away right now," my dad pointed out. My mom had tears in her eyes and looked down at the floor. That is not the point, though. I said that the point was that they hadn't done it. I got mad at them for putting all the blame on my mom (even though it is primarily her stuff everywhere, there is some reason he hasn't thrown it away yet). "I know it's an emotional time, but you guys are a couple! A partnership! You're in this together... this is YOUR life, YOUR future... TOGETHER!"  Neither of them said anything.

I was way more confrontational than I usually am, but I was way more mad than I usually am. I don't think they're being realistic about the situation or honest with themselves or each other. I mean I know they aren't talking about how the change is impacting my mom, because she has said so herself. I am just really annoyed, want to wash my hands of the whole thing. I really feel like I have tried everything within my power to help them. I don't know what else to do.

Anyway, the professional organizer is going to get back to me, once she's had a chance to double check on the team discount and prepare an estimate of how many hours it will take/how much it will cost. So we'll see. 

I feel so tired of it all. It has been weighing on me. It really has. I was a bit sad when I first heard they were selling the house, but now I really just cannot wait until they're out of there.

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