Staying on Task

Why does it seem so hard to stay on task for long tracts of unstructured time? This is not rhetorical. This is a legit question I'm wondering. Seriously, if you have anything that helps you, please, do share!

Things I did today which are productive:

• Went on a short training hike for an upcoming backpacking trip I'm going on. 
• Posted three things on craigslist. 
• Moved two more items into my new room.
• Had a nap. 

The training hike was maybe four hours, the nap was an hour and a half. The rest of the day... I cannot account for it. I read some articles online. Sent some emails. Ate some baby carrots. I don't even know what else. The main things I have on my to-do this weekend are two very large and unpleasant tasks:

• Prepare for an exam on Tuesday
• Finish going through my old room (it is really just those horrible dregs left now UGH)

I guess I need to break things up into more manageable chunks, huh? It is so easy to be focused on small/short tasks, or larger pleasant tasks, or tasks that have discrete sub-tasks. But these large awful ones. You gotta make it as fun and possible and break it down into smaller steps. Okay.

Room:

I still have some time until the evening. Give myself one hour. Put on some fun music. There isn't a huuuge ton left. I should be able to get through the rest of it by then, or almost then. I guess I just need to make a pile of things that I definitely need to keep and then stack up everything else along the edge to be donated. I then have to find homes for those few key items in the new room, but I won't include that in the hour. The little hoardy beast inside of me is resisting this batch of sorting so much, I can feel it. Anyway, after one hour I will re-group, see how far I've gotten. Not be too hard on myself. 

Studying:

I think I need to have one or two small 'fun' things planned for tomorrow to help break up my time. Then I can give myself one hour chunks (which usually turn into larger chunks once you get going on something), and maybe throw in some random tasks too, laundry and what not. 

Okay this plan is not a super duper plan, but it's at least enough framework to start from. And now I have a little bit of accountability, because I'm writing this out and posting it in a semi-public place. 

GO ME.

Downsizing

I'm moving into a smaller room within my apartment to save a little bit on my monthly rent. That $60 each month adds up! We're fortunately between roommates for one of the rooms so that gives everybody a chance to play musical rooms without too much frenzy. Anyway, I have moved approximately half of my stuff into the new room. I love it with this amount of stuff in it (okay even a little more stuff would be okay, like on the shelves above the desk, for example). But I still feel like I want to seriously pare down on my possessions.

Here is the new room:

I don't have my shoes, some of my clothes, any of my sports or camping equipment, my books, or hobby supplies. Yet, somehow there is a lot more stuff in my old room beside those things I just mentioned. I've decided, if there's not a good, reasonable place for it in the new room, I think I am going to need to get rid of it. Even if it is cute/pretty, or from a friend or family member, or reminds me of something nice.

The plus side is that I can be a lot more ruthless with myself/my own stuff. I might regret it later, but probably I won't.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Ha. I had totally forgotten about this blog (if anyone is still reading).

Lots of other changes going on in my life. At a certain point I realized I was putting my own decisions on hold because I was worried what would happen to my parents. Those feelings are coming from a good place. Maybe. In some ways. But such a mindset is not too healthy in other ways.

They are adults, they can face things.

I'm not their parent. I need to make decisions* based on my own future.

And I realized I wasn't doing that. I was staying in a situation that was making me pretty unhappy at least in part because I was worried about finances and what would happen if my family needed the money and I was not able to help them out. That is just plain messed up. So I have decided to quit my job and go back to school and prepare for a total career change. I have money saved up. I will be able to take care of myself financially, pay my rent and my tuition, have some wiggle room in case something bad or unexpected happens.

It makes me feel excited, hopefully, eager about the future and about right now too. And I love feeling that way.  So, it has been a good choice so far, even though it is a little scary not to have an income.

And I think it will work out for them too. They have a "gentleman's agreement" on the house, they will sign the papers at the end of this month.

I will maybe talk about that more later and what my role will be in the process of them moving.



*To be fair, I think I put most of the pressure on myself, to be there for everyone, to help everyone out. I just want to fill the needs that exist for the people I care about. I don't even think people are demanding it of me, I think I am demanding it of myself. Everyone (at work, my family, my friends) has been surprisingly understanding when I have drawn boundaries for myself and said "no I need to do this, for me, instead"