Wednesday, October 5, 2011


I had offered to lend my dad some money if they ended up in a tight spot (with the rule of thumb in mind that you shouldn't lend more than you'd be willing to give). I had looked through my budget and decided an amount that I'd be comfortable never getting back from them. But they didn't end up needing it when we first had the conversation.

The house is now mostly in a state to sell, but there is a home equity note to sign. Earlier this week, he asked me to sign for a portion of it, a low percentage, which I wouldn't even have to pay if the house sells, but if the house doesn't sell, the amount I'd be responsible for is higher than the amount I had initially thought of loaning them (or potentially giving them if they are unable to pay back ever). I'm still not sure I fully understand the situation. I will see my dad this weekend and hopefully clarify exactly what this entails. Maybe talk to my friend who is a lawyer. I'm of course not going to be signing stuff blindly.

I kind of want to say that I will agree to it IF Mom agrees to go to therapy, but that seems pretty manipulative. I don't know. I don't really have much experience with this type of decision. I'm mostly just working through it here. Not agreeing to anything.

Other tough news: I have gotten a letter from my employer about some mistakes I made last week, that this is a problem, that I am on probation until the end of the year. Serious stuff. As soon as I knew about the mistakes I immediately worked to correct them and make sure that sort of thing never happens again. But it is true, even beyond that incident, I am distracted. I know that I cannot blame this on anyone or anything else.

A part of me wants to be so selfish and say FINE THEN I QUIT...

But I need the money. I need to feel secure financially. Plus I'm a fighter. I'm a stubborn mo*******king fighter.


  1. "I'm a fighter. I'm a stubborn ***###*** fighter."

    Yes, you are. We all are. We learned to fight to get the basics in our childhood. Remember that mistakes happen and don't beat yourself up too much. It sounds like you already know what happened, have corrected it mostly.

    I know the feeling about wanting to quit and knowing that you won't. LOL I sometimes feel that way about parenting! But I hang in there...and I know you will too.

    Keep on keeping on~!

  2. Ah thanks Ceci. You really are great, you have such great optimism and spirit. I draw strength from reading your words, especially on your blog, and I have never even met you!