I am annoyed and frustrated. Nothing is going to be better. Everything is so hard. I try to be calm and emotionally detached from the situation, but how can you work hard at something without getting attached to it? I don't want my parents to have to be homeless. I don't want them to have no money and nowhere to live. I want my little sister to get a chance at life.
UGH.
We spent like 2 hours yesterday going through tons and tons of CHEAP JEWELRY. Got rid of like half of it. It doesn't matter to her if she wears it or not, matters if she'd LIKE to wear it or could IMAGINE wearing it. She just wants to keep everything, has a shirt that goes perfectly with those earrings, needs some small fake pearls and some large fake pearls. Let's not get into clothes. She had "sorted through" some of the clothes that she wanted to keep. I asked if she wears them and she said yes she does. Fine. I noticed a brightly patterned dress and said "WOW I've never seen you wear that one" (not even meant as a cross examination, just I was surprised that she had it and wore it), and she said "well I haven't worn that one YET" she was moving stuff around from pile to pile kind of distractedly, I just decided to let the matter drop. Clothes are going to require at least one other support person when we go through it.
So much crying... repressed anger and sadness that she won't share except when it tumbles out. I can't be sympathetic the way I'd like to be because I have to focus on the task at hand or else we won't get anything done. What a mess.
I'm not a therapist. I'm still figuring out how to deal with stuff in my own life for goodness sake. It's not like you taught me how to deal with anything like that MOM.
I'm so annoyed I'm so frustrated. Life is so dumb. Everything is so dumb.
Oh, I can so, so relate to the way you feel! My mother is a hoarder as well. I am rooting for you as you try to help your family through this! (On a side note, I recently learned that moving stuff from one pile to another in an attempt to "organize" is extremely common among hoarders. Therapists call it "churning." I was oddly delighted to find out that this crazy-making way of dealing with the mess actually has a name.) Also, I recently started my own blog on being the child of a hoarder. I would love it if you would list it (http://www.hoarderschild.blogspot.com/) with your other COH blogs. Thank you, and best of luck to you and your sisters!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Elizabeth! I have added you to the blogroll. :) I think the more we can share our experiences and aggregate our knowledge as a group, the better off we can be as individuals, and the more people who are looking for information on the topic (or a common experience) will be able to find.
ReplyDeleteYeah I've heard that term "churning" before. I even find myself doing it a little bit too... you never realize how much organizing is a learned skill.
Fortunately I'm feeling a little more optimistic now than I was last week.