Thursday, March 21, 2013

Memories, Letting Things Go

I finally got rid of this little flower thing my ex had made for me. After our first "fight." The following morning, he showed up with the homemade flower from his 3D printer, a very sweet gesture, of course, but didn't change the fact that he hadn't lived up to what he'd told me on three different occasions that he would do. Eventually we dealt with that particular situation, but the pattern that had caused that first conflict was a thread carried through the whole relationship. Despite many good and fun and tender moments as well.

A few months after I broke up with him, he contacted me by email. We wrote about a few different things, growth, life changes, etc. until it got to the point where I realized he was trying to get back together. I concluded that I must make it clear that this would not be happening. I told him so, as gently as possible while still being absolutely clear in my intentions.

The letter he wrote back was written in a way that would make me feel awful. Sly, subtle attacks on my character, attributing motivations to me. It caused me real pain to read those words. He concluded with a request for me not to contact him. As I have only ever contacted him in response to his emails or texts, and as this is not the first time he has lashed out at me in a hurtful manner like this, I have absolutely no problem respecting that request.

It is sad to me that things had to conclude on such bitter terms, as I have some very fond memories of our time together as well, in addition to the negative.

I don't know, I guess I just kept the little flower around because in a way it reminded me of our good times, and of his sort of well-intentioned sweetness. But this most recent lashing out at me makes me realize that it is probably time to just LET. IT. GO.

A quote from Annie (yes I am her newest, most enthusiastic fangirl) that sort of helps to put things into perspective, although the link to the post appears to be broken:
It’s okay to break-up. It’s just fine to admit that in the end it’s you walking that path, just you. You can still relish in the company you had for a time by way of a relationship. Two paths joined and merged, and the proximity to another’s brought about illimitable lessons. And then the paths diverged again and both parties walked on their separate ways with, we hope, more wisdom and insight into themselves than they had before.

Anyhow, throughout it all, there will be some paths joined to yours perpetually. And those will be simply marvelous.

No comments:

Post a Comment